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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866817">love doesn't make sense if it's not with you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabethstolepipersbreakfast/pseuds/Annabethstolepipersbreakfast'>Annabethstolepipersbreakfast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, M/M, bokuto is worried, oc arlo, one almost mention of kenma, poor akaashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:13:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabethstolepipersbreakfast/pseuds/Annabethstolepipersbreakfast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And just like that, Akaashi broke. Hearing his best friend’s voice made him realize how much he missed him and how lonely he felt. The park was empty and dark as the time was nearing 9pm, the only noise now were Akasshi’s sobs, he couldn’t stop, he didn’t even realize how hard he was crying until he gasped for breath.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi didn’t know how to get out of this. He was terrified. </p>
<p>How did it get so far? Why did he let it get so far? </p>
<p>Akaashi was currently holding a package of frozen fruit to his swelling eye, he needed to leave, but where would he go? </p>
<p>He had just gotten home from work when his boyfriend Arlo started yelling at Akaashi, asking where he was and accusing him of cheating, when in reality Akaashi just had more work than usual and had stayed a few more hours at the office. He had explained this through text too. <br/>His boyfriend was being irrational and violent. Was this the first time? No, but he had never hit Akaashi like this. They had been together for five months now and at first everything was great, but wasn’t it always like that? </p>
<p>Everything started changing after Akaashi had agreed to live together.</p>
<p>The disrespect was subtle at first, shutting Akaashi down when he had an opinion and belittling him, making him feel stupid for having an idea or inferior whenever they had a discussion. Arlo became jealous of ghosts, making up scenarios that never happened and accusing Akaashi of things he would never do. </p>
<p>Arlo had grabbed Akaashi by his shirt, slamming him against the wall, making his head spin as it took a hard hit. After yelling in his face he swung his fist, hitting Akaashi on his left eye and cheek. After that Arlo suddenly started to apologize, saying he didn’t mean it and that it wouldn’t happen again.</p>
<p>But Akaashi knew it would and that is why he needed to leave. </p>
<p>Arlo had left for work after that, saying he would come back with takeout and that they should cuddle and watch movies. He had kissed Akaashi on the cheek before leaving. Akaashi’s eyes stung, he didn’t know if the reason was his soon to be purple eye, his head, his pride for not defending himself or just the feeling of being lost.</p>
<p>Lost at what to do, how to proceed. </p>
<p>He took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts, he had family that surely would welcome him but not in the city. He had friends, but he felt shame at the thought of telling them what had happened. So he decided he would find where to go later, at the moment Akaashi couldn’t stay in that apartment anymore, it wasn’t safe and it wasn’t home. </p>
<p>But what was home?</p>
<p>Without wasting more time Akaashi packed a bag, clothes, shoes, toothbrush, his computer and his camera. He didn’t owned much anyways, and whatever he was leaving behind he could replace. He hesitated about leaving a note, what could he say? “oi you’re a piece of shit so I left, see you never”, Akaashi wasn’t sure he could voice all of his thoughts and feelings on a napkin, so he just wrote “we’re done. Don’t look for me”.</p>
<p>The thought that Arlo would look for him scared Akaashi, he would not be happy and he’s not exactly a stable person. </p>
<p>So Akaashi left, he walked several blocks until he found a park and he sat on a cold bench, deciding on whether or not he should call someone. It was November and he was freezing, his body was shivering because he only had a light jacket on. Once again Akaashi looked through his contacts, he was about to call a discreet blond ex setter when his phone started ringing. </p>
<p>Akaashi just stared dumbfounded as Bokuto’s picture appeared on the screen.</p>
<p>He could tell Bokuto, he was Akaashi’s best friend and he was the first option to call, but even if he did tell him, Bokuto was in Brazil, right?</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“AKAASHIIIII!!!”</p>
<p>And just like that, Akaashi broke. Hearing his best friend’s voice made him realize how much he missed him and how lonely he felt. The park was empty and dark as the time was nearing 9pm, the only noise now were Akasshi’s sobs, he couldn’t stop, he didn’t even realize how hard he was crying until he gasped for breath. </p>
<p>“Akaashi?!” Bokuto asked, frantic concern lacing his voice.  </p>
<p>“Where are you?” Bokuto really did sound worried, he should probably try to answer his question, but Akaashi couldn’t speak. He was shaking, maybe it was colder than he had realized.</p>
<p>“I want you to breathe with me, okay?” Akaashi nodded, forgetting that the other man couldn’t see him. He started following Bokuto’s instructions to breathe at a slow and steady pace and he started to slowly calm down. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” he said as he felt the knot on his throat tighten again “I’m fine now”. Akaashi looked up at the sky and felt the cold breeze drying his cheeks. His eye and his head were hurting, pulsing with the beat of his heart. He just wanted to sleep and forget about Arlo and everything related to him.</p>
<p>Bokuto just huffed, “Akaashi”.</p>
<p>Akaashi jumped a little and then turned to the sound lowering his hand, the voice wasn’t coming from his phone anymore. </p>
<p>He had to admit he was a bit star struck at the sight before him. Bokuto was standing there, cheeks flushed, wearing his hair down and a blue scarf Akaashi had gifted him a few years prior.</p>
<p>“How?” </p>
<p>“How? You have your location on you dummy” Bokuto said as he approached, eyebrows furrowed in concern and eyes widening as he notice Akaashi’s swollen eye. “Akaashi what happened?”</p>
<p>And when Bokuto was merely two feet away Akaashi crashed into him, burying his face on his best friend’s chest, tears once again running down his face. <br/>The taller man didn’t hesitate as he enveloped Akaashi in a tight hug, rubbing his back and whispering that it would be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Akaashi needs a break</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bokuto hadn’t asked much after Akaashi had cried himself to exhaustion, the older man just grabbed Akaashi’s things and guided him back to his car. He told Akaashi he had vacations and that is why he was in Japan, seems like the holidays were just around the corner and Akaashi hadn’t even noticed.</p>
<p>Bokuto was staying at his sister’s place while he was in the city and that’s where he took Akaashi, he liked Bokuto’s family a lot, but it had been a while since the last time he’d seen them. After Bokuto graduated high school things changed, he didn’t hang out with a lot of people even before his friend left for college but then it felt like something was missing. </p>
<p>Akaashi was an only child with very successful and very busy parents, he was independent and he learned not to rely on anyone else but himself. <br/>But Bokuto’s friendship had made him open up a little more. </p>
<p>“My sister will be so happy to see you! She’s always asking about you Akaashi!”</p>
<p>“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay?” Bokuto aide eyed Akaashi with a serious expression as if upset at the thought that Akaashi didn’t feel comfortable enough to just flow with the situation.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, she knows how important you are to me so she’ll welcome you without hesitation”</p>
<p>Akaashi just blinked, a bit perplexed at how grown up Bokuto sounded and flustered because, after all this time, Bokuto would still put his hands in the fire for his friend.<br/>For all of his friends. Surely Akaashi wasn’t the only one Bokuto would help like this. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°,)</p>
<p>All of the Bokuto family members were as bright as the sun, including Megumi (idk their names, did look up but they don’t say).</p>
<p>Bokuto Megumi was just like her brother, only a little more responsible if you asked Akaashi, she was kind and had offered him an ice pack for his black eye as soon as they finished hugging.<br/>She didn’t asked questions right away but Akaashi knew she was concerned.</p>
<p>After drinking some tea and catching up with the siblings, everyone went to bed. Akaashi uncertain of what his next step would be.</p>
<p>“Hey Akaashi” Bokuto said as he laid next to him.</p>
<p>Akaashi turned to look at the older man but the room was dark to completely decipher his friend’s expression. </p>
<p>“I don’t know what happened and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but…” Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s hands and brought them up to kiss them “I won’t let anyone hurt you again, I promise”</p>
<p>Akaashi really wanted to believe him, realistically he knew that was impossible but he still chose to believe in Bokuto, because he did feel safe and he felt like no matter what, as long as Bokuto is backing him up, he could get through anything. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi had made a mistake.</p>
<p>And that was forgetting to turn off the location on his phone or blocking Arlo as soon as he stepped out the door.</p>
<p>It was the next day and Akaashi was catching up on work, sitting in the living room typing at his computer when a loud banging came from the front door. Akaashi froze, if he ignored it, it would go away right? </p>
<p>The banging came again, louder, angrier. </p>
<p>Akaashi was home alone, Megumi had gone to work and Bokuto had plans with Kuroo. Akaashi had been invited but he had preferred staying in and working. <br/>Where was his phone? Akaashi scrambled up and ran to the room where his phone was.</p>
<p>Was this necessary? He didn’t want to ruin Bokuto’s day with Kuroo but the anxiety and fear in Akaashi was enough to make him a little selfish and so he texted Bokuto to come back.  </p>
<p>The loud banging was persistent. Akaashi just wanted to crawl into a hole where he didn’t have to hear it. He locked himself in the bathroom and slid down the wall covering his ears, begging his heart rate to slow down and his breathing to even out.</p>
<p>But that wasn’t going to happen. <br/>He was hyperventilating, and even though his head was loud with static he could still hear the banging.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It took me longer than i had planned but here is another chapter, not a happy ending yet. i know this is really short but it's soemthing. My head was blank for a while about this story but i'm going to finish it. kudos and comments are appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>happy and short, thank you for reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi must have passed out from the panic attack and woke up to his name being frantically called. Was that Bokuto? Standing on shaky legs Akaashi opened the locked door. </p><p>“Are you okay?! What happened?” the taller man asked, hands hovering over Akaashi as he notice how shaky the other man was. </p><p>“I-I’m not sure” answered Akaashi “did you see anyone outside?”</p><p>Bokuto frowned “no, why?” and Akaashi was more relieved than anything else, maybe it hadn’t even been Arlo after all, he panicked for no reason.</p><p>“I’m sorry Bokuto, someone was knocking very violently and they wouldn’t stop I… I panicked and asked you to come back”</p><p>He felt embarrassed, he ruined Bokuto’s time with Kuroo. </p><p>“Hey, it’s okay, you needed me so I came, alright? I’ll always come when you need me” and Bokuto’s smiled rivaled the brightest stars.<br/>Akaashi felt like crying again, he took a step forward, still shaking but on a mission, he cupped Bokutos face and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him but stopped, just enough to give the other man time to pull away. Instead Bokuto moved forward, leaning down to kiss Akaashi.</p><p>It was soft, sweet and short but it was enough to placate Akaashi’s fears. “Thank you” Akaashi whispered as they he broke the kiss.</p><p>5 months later and Akaashi had moved to live with Bokuto, adapting his photography job to a new city. They had taken it slow at first, Bokuto declaring that Akaashi should think things through and heal before deciding anything, and Akaashi did. He spent time alone after that winter break, he went out with his friends and had a daily routine of having dinner with Bokuto’s sister. </p><p>He felt content and at peace when he was with Bokuto, his insecurities weren’t made fun of, he was trusted, he felt loved and he felt safe.</p><p>Akaashi was pulled out of his thoughts and brought back to reality when by a loud whistle, so he focused back on the game he was watching just in time to see his boyfriend spike the ball, slamming it down on the court. Screaming echoed around him as their eyes locked and Akaashi felt his heart swell with how much love he had for Bokuto Koutaro.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>some angsty bokuaka bc i'm in deep with this ship</p></blockquote></div></div>
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